Skip to main content

It's a long story...

...you know, where I've been since I last posted about going to Australia.

Well....

Would you believe me if I told you that I'd somehow ended up wandering in the port in the early hours of the morning, and accidentally stumbled into a shipping container, which somehow locked itself behind me? *

And that after hours of banging on the walls and shouting to no avail, I fell into an exhausted asleep, only to be woken up when I felt the container swaying gently around, before being jolted across the floor when it thumped down suddenly?

Soon after that, I heard the ringing and clanging bangs of other containers being placed around and above mine, trapping me in the centre of a pile of huge metal boxes. I was enclosed in a container-made cage, on what I had to assume was a ship, bound for an unknown destination with its registered cargo. Plus the addition of an unauthorised, accidental stowaway.


With no way out of the metal box, I just had to resign myself to settling in and waiting, hoping that somebody would eventually find me. Luckily for me, I'd fallen into a container well supplied with Irn Bru and Monster Munch, so I managed to sustain my strength through the long sea journey. In the darkness of the container I soon lost track of time, although luckily the dynamo torch on my keyring allowed me the luxury of illumination when I needed it. Such as when I had to choose between Roast Beef, or Pickled Onion Monster Munch. The Flaming Hot Monster Munch I used to create a mattress - it's the only thing they were fit for, I certainly wasn't in a dire enough situation at that point to be forced to actually eat them.

You will have gathered that eventually, of course, the ship arrived at its final stop, thankfully here in the UK. As the containers were unloaded, gradually my temporary home, with its nest of empty crisp packets and cans was unveiled. I was helped out of there by shocked dock staff, and have been slowly recuperating since: it appears that a diet comprising only Monster Munch and Irn Bru has some deficiencies in certain areas. I believe this may explain why I am still so very pale, and the light still hurts my eyes. Although I wonder if that might have something to do with the little bat that we found I was sharing my container with - the dock workers found its body crushed under a dislodged pallet of Irn Bru cans. And for some reason, I do seem to be developing a strange, strong hankering for...blood?


*This may be an entirely fictional account of the last 6 weeks. Or it may be entirely true. The choice...is yours.

Comments

Greville Tombs said…
I choose "entirely true" - the time line fits right off, and there just too much detail in the account for it not to be. You were very lucky.

Yours in shipping, Greville.

Popular posts from this blog

Careering along

When I look around at the activities of information professional groups, it seems that there’s a disparity. There’s quite often a lot of support and funding available for those who’re just starting out in the profession, but a desert of nothingness for those of us who’re “just getting on with it”. If you’re a new professional, you have lots of groups to support you as you progress in your early career, various prize funds available for essay and report writing, access to bursaries for conference attendance, eligibility for awards for being new and enthusiastic. But what do you get when you’re past that bright-eyed-and-bushy-tailed first 5 years (5 years seems to be the approximate cut-off point for becoming “established” and no longer new). What happens when you’ve already received a bursary from an organisation earlier in your career and so wouldn’t be eligible for one now, meaning you’re not able to attend events or training? When you’re heavily involved in a project but not at

What if you don't get back what you put in?

I am, as you may know, a member of CILIP, the professional body for information professionals. There are two main reasons I'm a member. I am a Chartered librarian, and I take my commitment to maintaining this visible badge of my professionalism seriously. I have revalidated my Chartership within the previous assessment system, and I have submitted my Revalidation within the new system. To continue being a Chartered librarian, I must be a member of CILIP (although currently the commitment to continue to revalidate my Chartership is voluntary, and has been so for the length of my membership since approximately 2001). So I continue to be a member. I am a registered CILIP Mentor, and I help to guide those information professionals who are keen to be professionally qualified through the Chartership/professional qualifications process. I could not abandon midway through that process the people who are looking to me for guidance in their professional development. So I continue to be

Losing the professionalism

So, recently, CILIP apparently sent out an email regarding a consultation on a change of brand image, and name. I say apparently, as despite being a member, I never got this email. When I went to the website to log in and check why it wasn't sent to me, it didn't let me log in. I tried a password reset, and that email came through, so it *can* send emails to me...but the password it sent won't let me log in. I’m losing the will to keep trying. Overall, this is kind of symptomatic of how I feel about CILIP, and how useless its IT systems are.... Anyway, the consultation is on changing CILIP’s currently, clunky and meaningless name (picked as the best of a previous bad lot, as David McMenemy showed with this link to the 2000 consultation results ) to something more meaningful and relevant is open. If you want to take part, it’s here . I was a good girl, and pootled over yesterday to take part, and after filling in all the bumph, I got to view the glorious options. Oh. My.