Dumpling in a Hanky

I am slightly concerned about these...growths that I've found on my Tolley's Tax Handbooks...what could be in there? Are they buboes ? Should I be using the Medieval approach of protecting myself with sweet smelling nosegays? Is it the sign of an infestation of book-flesh eating bugs? Will they eventually burst out from the spines in a spray of paper shreds? Like the chestburster from Alien, but with more glue, and less blood? I am afraid. If you don't hear from me by the end of January, send in the search parties. Although I'd recommend they be wearing with HazMat suits , probably Type 1. And bring tongs.

If you're in England and Wales, here's the newly released guidance on using social media in public courts. It's probably not so relevant if you're the defendant though.

You! Yes, you! So you know a librarian? And you like stereotypes? And you want to buy them something for Christmas that fits in nicely to that stereotype?* Well, let me help… Now, books can get poorly, so what could be better than to let your Beloved Librarian help support sickly books, with a Book Shoe from the National Trust (no, I had no idea what a book shoe was before either). If you’re feeling flush, you could buy Beloved Librarian their very own mobile library ! Of course, they won’t get to draw it around the hills and vales of Britain , or get to give the donkey a funny name, but they’ll get a warm, inner glow of Doing Good. Even warmer if you actually buy them some books to put in i t. Of course, if you’re feeling wildly extravangant, buy BL their own village library . Although for that price, I’d be demanding that the library be named after me. Etsy is of course a world of weird and wonderful handmade gifts…how have I survived without the book ring ? Maybe your BL n...

These are just a few simple words, yet they're almost guaranteed to turn a bright-eyed, hopeful lawyer into a darkly-muttering, frustrated one. Y'see, sometimes there ain't a simple answer to what seems like a straightforward question because it all....depends. It depends, dear enquirer, because what may seem reasonable to one party, might not be so reasonable to the other party. And no, I can't give you any more information on the probable response by a judge or sheriff to your case because your case is entirely individual; the facts and circumstances in it are unique, and will have to be considered on their own merits. If you like, I could dig out a case from the 1800s that may relate to sheep, or suchlike, but I can tell you now, it's not going to help you one little bit. How nice a mood I am at the time in can be estimated by how sympathetic I sound when I deliver this information....